P O I N T L E S$

Why do I feel incomplete? I could have the world and I would still be unhappy. I know I would be.

So why can't I be happy? What am I missing?

F R E E D O M

I have the disease of a broken mind. I am mentally ill.

I'm tired of trying to live in two worlds. Half of me is trapped in a fantasy and the other half is living reality on repeat. I listen to the same sad song every Friday night while driving the same route home.

I just want life to exciting and stimulating. My life right now is mundane with similarity.

I want to be free but I don't know how yet.

G L ✪ R I O U S

I am scared that my glory days have left me. I fear that I peaked before I was even a teenager. Life was more simple seven years ago. I was still innocent. I still trusted the world. I still believed in myself.

So much has happened to me in the last few years, both good and bad. Now that the hourglass of my youth is coming to an end, I wonder if life will allow to me to start over gain. Will my life start over again?

I have faced my fear of living past the age of eighteen, but I still see no clear future. Adolescence hid reality from me.

I don't want to be unhappy anymore.

Thank you

One year ago, I was just starting this project. I am happy I do it. I am happy people can find comfort and a sense of home in my post. I hope one day I can stop writing about how sad I am.

xoxo, a! fAB!

P U S S Y

As I grow, I feel the less I can depend on myself. The more I grow, the more reassurance I need. THE OLDER I GET, THE MORE PERMISSION I NEED... THE PERMISSION TO BE FREE.

Growing up has made me lose the things that once made up my existence. I feel so deprived of free thinking. Responsibility has made cautious. I think about my every move. I am aware of every decision. I think about all of the consequences each could have... how it could all get me in trouble.

I was reminded this week how shy I can be. He said, "You're really quiet, but you seem so loud. You're wearing a t-shirt that says PUSSY, you're wearing booty shorts, big black boots, and you have a purse"

It's a Birkin.

My replay was, "I guess that's why I wear what I wear. I'm too scared to say all of that to your face."

I don't realize that people see me as a loud/outgoing person. I only see someone who is shy/scared.

this [fashion] is my shield, this is my weapon, this is my inner sense of fame